The usual disclaimers here folks – it’s a recap, so there are going to be spoilers everywhere. If you didn’t see the episode and want to be surprised, turn back now.
If you want to see previous recaps, click here.
STUFF THAT HAPPENED BEFORE: Glenn sees THE BARN, Hershel’s wife is in THE BARN, Dale says that those aren’t people in THE BARN, Carol gets all mushy with Daryl the Redneck Ninja, Dale doesn’t trust Shane, Lori’s knocked up, and oh yeah – she was sleeping with Shane. Now, let’s get started.
THE BARN. Yep. There it is.
Carol’s cooking up some eggs, probably all special for Daryl (hint: more squirrel entrails), but otherwise the tension is so think you can cut it with the knife that Andrea is sharpening because she’s a badass. Rick, unable to look like a badass, has that Tommy Dreamer “I’ve taken one too many chairshots” distant look in his eyes. Glenn looks over at the house – Maggie is all OH NO YOU DON’T because apparently she’s pissed at him again. Glenn looks over at the group – Dale is all OH YES YOU DO because his had has the power to read minds. Glenn, apparently trying his damnedest to never see those boobies again, tells the group that he’s got to say something. He stammers out that the barn is full of walkers. Wait – did we miss something? Last week, Maggie was loving her some Glenn and telling him he needed to speak up for himself, and suddenly she’s pissed. Oh, wait a second – here’s a lost scene from episode 2.6.5:
[OPENING: HERSHEL'S house. GLENN and MAGGIE are on the PORCH.]
Um, dear? I, um… I… yeah.
What is is sweetums?
I… um, I think I… you know, um, should, um… tell the guh guh group about the b-b-b-b-b-barn.
Die in a fire.
Shane peeks into the barn because, well, maybe Glenn just likes attention. A zombie gets him to back off and we get a shot of a zombie eyeball peering back, letting us know that zombies have feelings too and don’t like to be teased. Shane’s stomping around – he’s pissed. They need to “make this right” (kill the walkers), or they need to get the hell out of there. Carol rolls a 1d4 saving roll for indifference and fails, so she cries that they still need to find Sophia, with Daryl backing her up and saying that he’s close – he knows it – and he just found her doll. Shane repeats that he FOUND A DOLL (well yeah, he just said that), and that hell – if Sophia saw Daryl all messed up with his necklace of ears she’d probably run the hell away from him. Now that’s just hurtful, Shane. Dale speaks up and says that it’s not as easy as just killing the zombies – that Hershel sees them as people, and that Hershel’s family is in there. Shane, realizing that cripes, even the old man in the fishing hat knows, stomps off pissed. Hell, T-Dog probably knew too. Right T-Dog? T-Dog? Meh.
Shane stomps over to THE BARN. He studies THE BARN. THE BARN does not care. THE BARN mocks him silently.
Maggie’s not talking to Glenn. Well no crap, Glenn – she was pissed when you told Dale, now you’re going to tell everyone the secret about THE BARN. Maggie breaks her silence by asking for Glenn’s hat. She puts an egg in it, then smashes it on his head. You’re right Glenn, I don’t get women on this show either.
Carl’s doing homework because if there’s one thing you need to know to survive the zombie apocalypse, it’s proper penmanship. Carl tells Lori that they’re not leaving until they find Sophia, and that he doesn’t want to leave after that. Lori lies and tells him they’re not going to leave. Carl keeps pleading his case – Sophia’s going to like it here; it can be a home. Lori hugs Carl – oh Carl, you sweet, naive boy. Stop stalling and get back to your homework.
Daryl’s got a saddle – he’s going to find that girl, damn it, and he’s going to do it on a horse that won’t try to kill him. Carol finds him, rolls the 1d4 saving roll for indifference again and succeeds this time, so she tells him not to go out – he’s got to heal. The redneck ninja does not know of this word “heal”, so he continues. Carol keeps saying that they don’t know if they’re ever going to find her, and that she can’t lose him too. Daryl gets pissed, throws the saddle and hurts himself, then storms off away from Carol, calling her a stupid bitch. Carol gets turned on because “stupid bitch” used to be her husband’s pet name for her.
Glenn has no hat. Glenn wants his hat back. Glenn’s poor hat. He misses it so much. Dale, do you have an extra hat? No, Dale does not have an extra hat. Would you like the hat Dale is currently wearing? Yes, please. Thank you.
Andrea’s loading up her arsenal and getting ready to go off with Rick, hunting… er, searching for Sophia. Dale doesn’t know what’s going on with Andrea and Shane. Well OF COURSE you don’t know – you gave Glenn your magic mind-reading hat, silly. Dale says that Andrea doesn’t really know Shane, and Andrea takes it as Dale being an overprotective dad, except, you know, Andrea’s dad would have taught her how to clean a gun. Andrea leaves, and Dale starts staring at the gun bag. He asks Glenn (on lookout duty on the RV) to get him some water (because, you know, it’s much easier to climb down off the camper and go find him some water instead of getting out of it your damn self) and as Glenn does it – no questions asked – Dale stares at the bag of guns longer. Failing to read the guns’ minds, he zips up the bag and takes it.
Hershel is eating and bible-reading, looking for the zombie chapter (HINT: it’s called “Easter”). Rick comes to visit. He offers to help in the fields NO THANK YOU. Rick brings up that building with the zombie guys in it LEAVE IT ALONE. Rick would like to talk about the building with the zom I NEED YOU AND YOUR PEOPLE OUT OF HERE THIS WEEK. Rick explains that he’s talked to Dale – he gets where Hershel’s coming from. We don’t know whether the zombies are dead or alive, but his group – they’re alive. Even Daryl, despite us trying to kill him. And T-Dog – wherever the hell he is. Hershel doesn’t care – he was nice enough to let them stay, so that’s good enough for him. You know, like the bible says. Rick says that Hershel’s shielded from the world on the farm; that he doesn’t get what’s really going on out in the world. Whatever he thought was going on, it’s so much worse. It makes people worse. Hershel doesn’t really care. Rick throws down the pregnancy card. Pregnant, she can live here or die out there. They’d be willing to help out – just think about it. Hershel’s thought about it, the answer is no, damn it. Rick tells him again to THINK ABOUT IT. Failing with the Jedi Mind Trick, Rick leaves. Maggie overhears everything, and she’s not happy.
Shane v. THE BARN – ROUND 2. Shane stares at THE BARN. THE BARN stares back. THE BARN does not like Shane’s new haircut. THE BARN does not lose staring contests.
Rick comes and finds Shane (THE BARN wins!) and Shane wants to know what Rick’s decision is. Rick says he’s negotiating. Shane says the clock is ticking. Rick says the barn is secure – has been the entire time they’ve been there and didn’t know about it, why not one more day? Shane wants to know why Rick wants to stay at this unsafe place and Rick says that Lori’s pregnant. Shane is… let’s say surprised. They need their guns – they need to stay. Shane manages to congratulate Rick somehow without saying “are you sure it’s yours?” and goes back to barnstarin’. ROUND 3.
Back at the house, Maggie and Hershel prepare their throwdown. Hershel says Carl’s fine now and that he was being overly dramatic and they just need to go find their own farm. Maggie says there aren’t any more farms unless you want to grow zombies. Hershel wants to know why they’re his problem now and Maggie starts quoting the bible. She says that her mom told her to love one another before she died, and it seems like Hershel married again. Hershel wants to know if this was about her and the Asian boy, and Maggie says that Asian boy’s name is Glenn (two n’s) and that he saved her ass from someone that was sick while they were out getting Soap Opera Digest and that it’s not about them but it’s about you. Tension breaks as Redshirt runs into the kitchen and says that it’s “happened again”.
Rick and Andrea are going over search plans when Hershel comes out to see them. Well, Rick. Hershel needs Rick’s help. Andrea wants to help but NO THANK YOU JUST RICK AND ONLY RICK WILL DO.
Shane comes over to see Lori, and says that he thought Rick was dead, and that when he came back, he wished he was. Oh no, not because of you Lori – KEEP THAT EGO IN CHECK, WOMAN – but because he knew Rick wasn’t built for the zombie apocalypse. Shane keeps saving her while Rick is off saving drug dealers and chasing shiny objects. He asks if the baby is his, and Lori doesn’t say no – just that even if it is his that it’s not going to be his and nothing’s going to change that. Shane says that he doesn’t need to and stomps away in Stone Cold mode.
Carl stops Stone Cold Shane and suddenly Shane’s all nice again. Carl lays down the law to Shane – he doesn’t think Sophia’s dead, and that this leaving her behind stuff is bullshit (nice mouth, Carl), and that he knows what they should do. Lori sees Carl and Shane talking and calls over Carl, but not before Shane warns him about his language. You know, or I’ll shoot you in the leg like I did Otis. JUST KIDDING!
Shane flips back on the Stone Cold switch and hits the RV, looking for the guns. The guns… which are not there. Shane starts digging around the RV looking for the guns and can’t find them – son of a bitch. He knows where they went. He asks Glenn (on lookout) where Dale went, and Glenn says that he asked him to go get some water then when he came back Dale was gone. Glenn doesn’t know why he’d bail, but Shane says he wouldn’t get it. BREAKING: Glenn doesn’t get anything.
Hershel brings Redshirt and Rick to the swamp, where two walkers are stuck in the goo. Hershel knows the walkers – of course – and now they’ve got to round up these two and bring them to the barn with their dog-catching sticks. Rick’s not too crazy about this, but Hershel reminds him that it’s his farm, so it’s his rules, hinting that they might be able to stay longer. Rick concedes.
Daryl brings Carol to show her the Cherokee Roses, because when you’re going to use a reference that obscure, you’re going to milk it for all it’s worth. Daryl apologizes for before (heart of gold), and Carol asks why he keeps going out there. Daryl says he still thinks Sophia’s out there, and hell – what else does he have to do? Point taken.
Hershel, Rick and Redshirt have the walkers. Redshirt slips in the swamp and one of the walkers almost gets him, but Rick manages to secure him and saves Redshirt for another day. Secured, they bring the two walkers along. It’s obvious that Hershel has done this before.
Glenn calls out for Maggie. Maggie unloads – she could deal with him telling Dale, but the whole group? Now they’re going to get kicked off the farm. Glenn says that he had to tell the group – that he wanted to tell them. He forgot that the zombies were dangerous – when they lowered him into the well, he thought it was like a game – like Portal (you know, except without… um… portals) but he realizes now that the cake was a lie, and that he’d rather have her pissed off at him and alive than not pissed and dead. They kiss and make up – IT’S ON AGAIN.
Shane finds Dale in the woods with the bag. Shane wants the bag. Dale says no – he doesn’t want to get shot by Shane like Otis did and have Shane tell another story and have to cut his hair again. Shane says that Dale is pretty much dead already [DING - episode title achievement unlocked] and for him to just hand the damn guns over. Back and forth, until Dale’s had enough and aims his rifle at Shane – it’s cocked and loaded, so Dale means business. Shane doesn’t think he’ll do it, so he keeps walking. The gun is at Shane’s chest now, but Shane doesn’t care. Dale finally lowers the gun, but tells Shane that this world is where he belongs, and that while he might not have what it takes to survive long, he can say that when the world turned to shit, it didn’t take him along with it. Shane just wants his damn guns, and he gets them.
49 minutes in AND T-DOG IS HERE AND HE’S WALKING. Shane’s back with the guns and starts passing them out, which no one seems to mind. Carl wants one too – we need to find Sophia, right? OH SHIT says T-Dog and here come Hershel, Rick, and Redshirt, the zombie-catchers. Wait guys – it’s not what you thi… wait, yes it is. Shane goes ballistic – this is what he was talking about, and crazy-ass Shane’s looking pretty wise right now, because Rick really has to be wondering what the hell he’s doing at this point. Shane takes a few shots at one of the captured walkers, which doesn’t affect it, which is what Shane’s trying to drive home to Hershel – living people, sick people, don’t get shot in the chest and keep going. BANG BANG, still more, and the walker is just getting pissed. Finally a shot to the head and the walker is done as Hershel looks on in horror.
OH BUT WE’RE JUST GETTING STARTED. Shane’s pissed at THE BARN always winning their battles. Shane’s going to open up the barn and take care of this once and for all. Everyone’s just kind of watching Shane as THE BARN starts to open up and here come the walkers. Shane’s ready for battle, and there’s Andrea ready as well. They begin shooting away at the walkers. Amazingly not everyone gets a headshot, so we see them take some damage before actually going down. And they go down – walker after walker dropping with the group shooting away, with even Glenn getting in on the action (after asking Maggie – give him credit for that). Rick’s captured zombie catches a shot to the head too, and finally the barn is cleared. Bodies are piled up in front of the barn, Hershel is distraught, Lori is trying to shield Carl (who is pretty horrified himself), while the group takes a moment to let it soak in what they’ve done, as Dale finally shows back up wondering what the hell he missed.
But, wait – there’s one more. Shuffling out, a smaller walker makes its way past some of the bodies, being careful to step around the carnage around it. We pan up and see the rainbow shirt and the familiar face – it’s Sophia. She’s in relatively good shape – all things considered – but she’s been bitten in the shoulder and it’s clear that she’s one of them now. The group, that before had been so eager to eliminate all of the walkers from the barn, just sit and stare. Carol is hysterical and being held back by Daryl (who’s not copping a feel – that’s against the redneck ninja code), and Carl’s not much better, being comforted by Lori. As the group just looks and stares, Rick walks forward. He draws his revolver, aims it at zombie Sophia, and without any emotion – drops her with a single shot to the head.
[Header image via Hulu.com. Show images from amctv.com.]