The usual disclaimers here folks – it’s a recap, so there are going to be spoilers everywhere. If you didn’t see the episode and want to be surprised, turn back now.
If you want to see previous recaps, click here.
STUFF THAT HAPPENED BEFORE: Glenn gets to see Maggie’s boobies, Andrea sure likes guns and would like them back thankyouverymuch, Lori wants Glenn to get her some personal stuff like a pregnancy test you have to stare at for a long time before you can take it, Daryl had a bad day and looks a whole lot like a zombie, Andrea shoots Daryl because he kinda looked like a zombie and guns are fun, and damn it Glenn, you weren’t supposed to see the zombies in the barn.
Carl and Lori are feeding chickens, which damn it is good, clean, and wholesome. Carl notices some chicks without a mom. Carl says, without a thought, that maybe it was eaten, and Lori thinks that Carl is an emotionless child with no heart who can only think of the horrors that the zombie apocalypse has brought until Carl reminds her that they’re on a farm, and they probably eat the chickens that they raise on the farm. Oh, right. Good boy. Carry on. Otis’ wife/girlfriend/cousin watches from the shadows, grasping one of the chickens. There’s a chopping block in the area, but Otis’ wife/cousin instead snaps the legs of the chicken (but the drumsticks are the BEST PART) and throws it into a sack. Ah, I remember the episode of Good Eats when Alton Brown made Poulet a la Sack. Lady Otis takes the sack into THE BARN, where she looks out over the walkers and empties out the sack – free range broken-legged chicken for everyone! You know, because the damned agile and fast zombies would have trouble catching a chicken let loose in a closed barn. You don’t watch out, those walkers are going to get all fat like the one in the well.
Glenn’s spying THE BARN through binoculars. The barn looks strangely like the Amityville Horror house, except I’m sure the taxes are much better for Hershel here. Maggie tells him to stop staring at THE BARN, and Glenn doesn’t like knowing all these secrets. Maggie tells him to shut up about it, and offers him some peaches. Glenn is offended by being bought off with fruit, and we all know what Glenn’s shooting for. Maggie offers jerky, and apparently that’s all Glenn’s going to get, IFYOUKNOWHWATIMEAN. Get it? Jerky? Because Maggie’s not interes… you know… jerk…
HEY LOOK T-DOG HAS A PEACH.
Andrea goes to see Daryl, and brings him a book. The redneck ninja – they know not of the way of the written word. Andrea tries to make amends, and Daryl is surprisingly forgiving, saying that he knew she was just trying to defend the camp. Aw, how sweet. He then says that if she ever shoots him again, she better pray that he’s dead. Somewhere, a dead squirrel nods in agreement.
Glenn sees Lori and he can’t believe Lori hasn’t said anything yet. Lori tells Glenn to shut up. Glenn needs to shut up a lot.
Rick, Shane, and redshirt from Hershel’s farm are making plans for more searching, because apparently Hershel’s cool with the kid leaving now. Glenn comes by with pregnants, er I mean peaches. Yeah, peaches and ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS WRONG WITH THE BARN. Everyone eats fruit and laughs at silly Glenn. HE SO CRAZY.
One of Hershel’s daughters and Otis’ wife/cousin tell the group that they want to learn how to shoot too. Rick says no, because you know how Hershel. Hershel’s daughter says that Hershel said it was OK. Rick, being apparently the smartest person in the show, remembers how well that went the last time, so he’ll go talk to Hershel himself.
Carl wants to learn how to shoot too. Aw, he’s so cute. He asks Shane, who defers to Rick and Lori because he’s pretty sure this kid isn’t his. Shane notices something and wants to know what Carl has – Carl’s packing heat. Rick and Lori react pretty much the way you’d expect if your 10-year-old was carrying a revolver. Rick thinks that maybe Carl should learn how to shoot though, but Lori wants no part of that. Rick says that Shane’s a great instructor and hey – Andrea already shot Daryl, so how much worse could the kid be? Lori relents but explains all the ground rules to Carl about the right way to handle a gun. Now if someone told Andrea this, maybe we’d see Daryl more this episode.
Since we’re teaching everyone to shoot, why not Glenn? Hey Glenn, want to practice some shooting and tell us your most innermost secrets? Shane’ll tell you about every chick he’s slept with! Glenn politely declines, since he has to… uh… go look for Dale and learn about… stuff about cars… yeah. Dale, standing directly behind Glenn, takes care of that excuse, but rolls with it anyway. Oh Glenn, YOU SO CRAZY. Glenn and Dale go off and Dale wants to know why Glenn wants to learn about fixing vehicles, and Glenn tells him it’s because he’s old and might not be around – damn that Glenn has a way with words. Dale can tell there’s something on his mind, because Dale has that special power. And, you know, because he’s old. Glenn stammers through a hypothetical scenario where someone knows something and someone says to someone JUST SPIT IT OUT GLENN. “There’s walkers in the barn and Lori’s pregnant.” Don’t you feel better, Glenn? We cut away before we can learn that Glenn also knows who really shot JFK, the eleven herbs and spices in KFC, and the Konami Code. “Up up down down…” “We all know that, Glenn.”
Target practice, because apparently one of the things they grow on Hershel’s farm is bullets. Everyone’s doing well except Andrea – cheer up; you’ll be hitting the target in no time. Andrea says “who said I didn’t hit the target?” and we see she’s been shooting the “o” in the “no trespassing” sign. Well then – good thing Daryl wasn’t wearing a sign. Andrea reminds us of a storyline we blew off several weeks ago – wasn’t Shane leaving? What kept you here? Andrea waits for Shane to say it was her all along, but Shane just looks off towards Rick and Carl, presumably towards Carl because I don’t remember there being too much sexual tension between Rick and Shane. Andrea takes this as a sign that Shane wants her.
Dale’s off taking a stroll and sees that the horse Daryl lost came back, and finds Hershel taking care of it. Dale starts up a little chitchat with Hershel, mentioning how much he likes to walk around BARNS and that he heard some moans coming out of THE BARN and he knows what those are. Hershel, surprisingly, doesn’t bitch about not being asked permission about walking near the barn, and the two get into a debate about the walkers. Hershel doesn’t believe in taking the lives of people, while Dale’s like hello – they’re zombies, not people. Hershel lets Dale know that his wife and stepson are in that barn, and they’re people. Awkward. Dale changes his approach and wants to help Hershel, maybe get Rick involved. Hershel says that if Dale wants to help, he’ll STFU. OK then.
Later, Lori finds Hershel. Lori wants to thank Hershel for all he’s done for them, and for Carl, and that she’s eternally grateful. Hershel keeps it modest, then wants to know when the hell they’re leaving. Lori seems shocked, but Hershel brings up that they should be on their way to Fort Benning soon, making Hershel the only one of us who remembers where the hell the group was on their way to before all this missing Sophia/shot Carl stuff. Lori’s still in shock, partly because I think she forgot too.
Shane’s giving Andrea some more training – no really, he’s teaching her how to shoot at a swinging log. Seriously, there are no euphemisms there. Andrea can’t shoot it, because hitting a tiny far away target is much easier than hitting a giant target back and forth. Shane, like the rest of us, can’t figure why the hell she can’t hit the giant log, but Andrea says it’s because it’s MOVING, damn it. For those keeping score at home – person’s head from 500+ feet away, easy; swinging giant log from 50 feet away, hard. Since Shane went all Private Pyle a few episodes ago, he’s going to even it out by channeling R. Lee Ermey and going all drill sergeant on Andrea, which oddly doesn’t inspire Andrea to do better. Shane hits a nerve by mentioning Amy, and Andrea’s out of there. Shane feels bad and starts rubbing his head, looking for some clippers.
Lori finds Rick and rips into him because he knew that Hershel wanted them to leave. Rick says that he’s working on being able to stay. Lori doesn’t think Hershel knows that. Rick tells Lori not to worry, because he’ll take care of everything.
Andrea’s stomping back to camp all annoyed that Shane’s a jerk. Shane nails Andrea with a drive-by apology, but Andrea isn’t hearing it. Shane gets pissed off and cuts her off with his car – where the hell did Shane get this car? – and after some back and forth Shane says they can go off searching together with Andrea being his backup and carrying a gun. Andrea says OK.
Lori smellllllllllllllllllllllalalalalalalalalals what the Dale is cookin’ and starts to get sick. Dale, using his psychic powers of Glenn telling him everything, visits Lori and comforts her by telling him a story about how his wife was pregnant once. Christ, you’re subtle, Dale. Dale gets into this story about how whenever his then-pregnant wife would smell meat cooking, it would make her sick JUST LIKE SOMEONE WE BOTH KNOW. Lori’s surprised that Glenn spilled the beans, but Dale says that he has no guile. Personally, I always felt that Guile was one of the weakest Street Fighter characters, so I’m not sure how well that would have worked out anyway. Lori mentions the past with her and Shane – yeah, I guess Dale would know about that – but she knows that the baby is Rick’s, no question. Lori questions whether or not to have the baby – she feels that while the adults have memories of what was good to live off of, Carl seems to be running out, and the baby won’t have any – it will never know happiness. No Lori – the baby won’t know any better and see the good in things, it’s your spoiled ass that will complain about how good things used to be. Lori asks Dale if her baby will grow up to be his age and be happy. You know, because you’re OLD Dale. Cripes – first Glenn and now Lori. We’re like one or two away from Gene Rayburn showing up with Charles Nelson Reilly and the Match Game ’73 set.
[Side note: Zombie Charles Nelson Reilly would be absolutely the best thing in the history of ever.]
Glenn and Lori meet up. Glenn’s sorry that he can’t keep a damned secret. Lori says it’s OK, and that she’s got another secret run for him to go on. You know, because he’s so good at keeping secrets.
Glenn goes off on his run into town with Maggie in tow. Maggie’s not talking to Glenn, so Glenn wonders aloud what we’re all thinking – why would you come along if you’re pissed off at him? Maggie finally lets him know she’s still pissed off that Glenn told someone about the barn (I thought Dale was just walking by the barn? Why do we just assume Glenn told him?) Glenn and Maggie make it to the pharmacy where Maggie asks what Lori wants this time. Glenn says he can’t tell her (he’s at least trying to be able to keep secrets) but after Maggie points out his hypocrisy (“Oh, you’ll shut up for them.”) he quickly gives Maggie Lori’s list. Maggie gets more pissed off at the contents of the list and goes off to the drugs to get what is needed (and not one pill more, because it’s fun taking these trips), while Glenn shops in the “non-drugs area”. Maggie is carefully making her selections when she’s grabbed by a walker. Maggie starts screaming and Glenn comes to her rescue, hitting the walker with a shelf then a second killshot to the head as the walker attempts a comeback. Glenn has saved the day, and holds a shaken Maggie. I guess we’re all made up now.
We’re back to the farm and Maggie has decided to deliver Lori’s stuff personally by ripping her a new one. They almost got killed you know, just because Glenn’s her personal errand boy, getting her shampoo and Soap Opera Digest. (Just a note – that might be an old issue) OH AND HERE’S YOUR ABORTION PILLS. Well then. Later, Maggie tells Glenn how pissed off she is at him because he’s smarter than his whole group gives him credit for – the rest of the group treats him like zombie bait. I’d question that if it weren’t for Glenn being specifically used as bait on a line for a zombie just two episodes ago. Maggie gives him a big kiss and says she’s lost all these people she’s cared for already – she can’t lose him too.
Shane and Andrea start exploring a residential community, figuring that Sophia could be camped out in one of the houses. Shane does his best “fancy cop moves” impression and starts searching a house, with Andrea watching his back. One hallway has some bodies – and in the garage they find it scorched with bodies inside. Shane notes that while one body they find is female (and flies seem to LOVE it), there’s no children here. Also, just below the garage door, there’s a nice group of walkers looking to welcome their new visitors. One slides right under the garage door because these are some of the most agile zombies I’ve ever seen – it’s time for Shane and Andrea to get the hell out of there. They try to leave, but they’re getting swarmed, and their path to the car is blocked. They’re going to have to shoot their way out. Shane starts plugging away, while Andrea can’t seem to hit a zombie’s head if her life depended on it (which it kind of does). Finally, her gun locks up, so at least she can’t waste ammo. Walkers starting to close in and Shane just seems to be kind of looking over to Andrea as she fiddles with her gun and finally gets it working – blowing off the head of a walker who was like five feet away from her.
AW YEAH, THAT’S THE STUFF.
Andrea apparently gets off on the kill because once that first one goes down, she suddenly turns into a marksman and gets into a killing zone – so much that we’re actually in slow motion at this point. Shane sees an opening, but it’s Andrea who’s giving away headshots like it was one of Oprah’s Favorite Things (YOU GET A HEADSHOT, YOU GET A HEADSHOT, EVERYONE GETS A HEADSHOT) so Shane’s got to snap her out of it so they can get out of there.
Lori goes to apologize to Glenn – she feels really bad about the attack, and she already had that issue of Soap Opera Digest. Glenn asks if the morning after pills will work since, well, they’re “morning after” pills and not “after you miss a period” pills. Lori doesn’t know. Glenn says if they don’t or if she’s having second thoughts, he also grabbed her prenatal vitamins, because Glenn’s thoughtful like that. He also tells Lori that she shouldn’t be making that choice alone.
Andrea and Shane are driving back to the farm, and Andrea’s still got this smirk on her face. She clearly enjoyed taking out some zombies. Very much so in fact, as she reaches over to grab Shane’s knee. And by “knee”, I mean “crotch”. Shane hits the brakes and lets Andrea know that he’s greatly offended and believes that they should court bef… of course not – Shane’s getting him some of that.
Lori takes all the morning after pills, whose brand name are “MORNING AFTER PILLS” (in case you were watching with the sound off) because you need a whole bunch if it’s like two dozen mornings after. Then she feels guilty (or they taste like fish oil or something) and goes to the woods and causes herself to throw up. We get to watch it, because nothing moves a story along better like stomach bile.
Andrea and Shane are back and looking like they just had something good happen, but since there’s no Sophia we can only assume they had sex or found a Five Guys or something. Dale knows something’s up, because he is old and wise. He goes over to Shane and wants to know why he hasn’t left yet. Shane wants to know what his issue is – is this about Andrea? Dale, instead of pulling out the Walking Dead trade paperback and complaining that he should be the one getting a little “closer” to Andrea instead just wants to know why the sudden change in plans. Shane says he’s just looking out for the group. Dale says that Shane’s been pretty vague about the night Otis died, and Shane quickly says that Otis died a hero and that what happened that night was that a little boy was saved because of what they did. Dale, still not letting up, says he was there too when Shane had Rick in his sights and looked ready to pull the trigger, and Shane gets really pissed off, asking if Dale really thinks that he’d shoot Rick – his best friend, a man he loves. He waits a second, knowing Dale has his answer, then says that if Dale thinks that he’d pull the trigger on a man he loves, what the hell do you think he’d do to someone who he doesn’t give a crap about making a bunch of accusations in his direction. Well played, Shane.
Meanwhile, Rick comes back to find Lori and sees the packages for the morning after pills. Uh oh. Rick goes and finds Lori. He’s pissed – was there something that Lori needed to tell him. Lori knows she screwed up and please yell at her she knows she did something wrong. They go back and forth – since Rick knows about the pills he knows that Glenn knew before he did about the baby because she had to tell him, and Lori gets mad and starts defending herself. She’s still a wreck – she doesn’t know if she wants this baby, but Rick says that it’s obvious that she does, or she wouldn’t have thrown up the pills. Rick says that they can’t live like this – keeping secrets from each other. Is there anything else he should know? Lori spills it about her and Shane, but Rick takes it better than expected, since it seems like he had assumed it in the first place. Rick says that she thought he was dead, and the world went to hell and she thought he was dead, right? Lori nods, unable to speak – it’s all on the table now.
[Header image via Hulu.com. Show images from amctv.com.]