The Walking Dead Recap: Episode 2.5 – Chupacabra

The usual disclaimers here folks – it’s a recap, so there are going to be spoilers everywhere. If you didn’t see the episode and want to be surprised, turn back now.

If you want to see previous recaps, click here.

So where were we? Oh yeah – LAST TIME: Sophia sees something shiny and wanders off, Daryl’s going to find that girl, Lori tells Glenn to go get something super secret, Daryl picks flowers and hates his brother, Maggie blows Glenn’s mind (and who knows what else), and Lori finds out she’s pregnant, which should go over real well.

Traffic sucks, but since there’s a whole lot of people around and none of them are trying to eat faces, we’re starting off in FLASHBACK MODE again. That, and Sophia’s back, being a kid with not-shot-Carl. Ah, the good ol’ days. Carol and Lori talk – Carol is pretty friendly and saying lots of words which I’ve forgotten she knew how to do because I don’t remember her saying much of anything like ever. Lori needs to go off with Shane to explore what’s going on (remember, Rick’s presumed dead at this point) so she asks Carol for some help and Carol has no issues with it, but there’s Carol’s douchebag husband reminding her how stupid she is, and we remember why now we didn’t hear anything from Carol before – because of this guy. Sophia says that she likes Carl’s dad, and Carl explains that Shane isn’t his dad, that his dad is dead. AWKWARD. Shane and Lori observe helicopters zooming overhead which is bad enough, then all of a sudden they hear explosions – the helicopters are attacking the city. Shane says it’s napalm, and I guess we’ll believe him because people in TV shows are never wrong.

And then Lori wakes up. Was it a dream? If so, the only thing we really take from it was that Carol’s husband deserved to die, Carol is nice, and that damn it – they all thought Rick was dead. Lori comes out and mentions something to Carol about letting her sleep in. Surprisingly Lori doesn’t throw up right on the spot, because if TV has taught me anything about pregnancy, it’s that women get morning sickness almost immediately after conception, and every birth begins with the woman’s water breaking. Carol thinks it would be a nice idea if they made dinner for Hershel’s family since they’ve been so nice to them. Plus, it’ll get her mind off her assumed-to-be-either-eaten-alive-or-zombified daughter. Lori thinks this is a good idea but figures they should run it by Hershel first. Carol wants Lori to ask Hershel even though it’s her idea because Lori’s kind of like the group’s “first lady”. Oooook.

Today is search day, and thanks to Hershel’s GIS knowledge, they’ve got the area all set in grids so that they can search more efficiently. Someone from Hershel’s group – surprisingly not wearing a red shirt – wants to help with the search. Rick wants to run it by Hershel, and the kid (he’s 17, we find out later) says that he’s already done that and Hershel gave the OK. Well, I’m sure he’s telling the truth, so fine. Daryl mentions something about chupacabras, which gets a chuckle from the group, including the new redshirt. Rick asks if Daryl really believes in a blood-sucking dog. Daryl responds by asking if Rick believes in dead people walking around. TOUCHE. Beware the redneck ninja, for even his words cut with precision.

Glenn, full of confidence, seeks out Maggie and lets her know that he’s got 11 condoms left. Maggie responds by letting Glenn know that while he sees eleven condoms, Maggie sees eleven minutes of her life she’s not getting back. ZING. Immediately afterward, Maggie was signed to do 26 episodes of “Maggie”, with fully functional laugh track, next fall for NBC. Meanwhile, Glenn picks up the pieces of his confidence and walks away.

Shane and Rick are on the hunt for Sophia. Shane regales Rick with tales of his sexual conquests back in high school and how Rick couldn’t score on an empty net from a foot away. Shane segues that into a discussion about the search for Sophia and if they’re wasting time. When they were cops, after 72 hours the missing person is assumed dead, and that was before the whole zombie apocalypse thing. If they called off this search, they’d be making progress on their trip to wherever they’re supposed to be going (does anyone remember anymore?), Carl wouldn’t have gotten shot, and Otis *mumble mumble* killed *mumble mumble*. Before Shane can look for hair clippers, Rick says that he thinks that Sophia’s still alive, but more importantly reaffirms that he still takes responsibility for her being missing.

It’s a squirrel impaled on a tree, so Daryl the Redneck Ninja is on the prowl. Daryl decided he needed a horse for reasons no one can really explain (maybe to hook up with Maggie – chicks apparently dig horses) and is tracking alone again (because that’s how redneck ninjas roll), but we won’t nitpick – after all, it won’t be the stupidest thing that is done in this episode. Daryl spots a doll by the water, so he goes to investigate. The doll hasn’t been bitten, so there’s hope yet. He calls for Sophia, but nothing. He’s back on the horse and some birds get freaked out, getting the horse all jumpy. It’s cool though, just as long as there’s no snakes. Oh, wait – here’s a snake. Snake gets hissy, horse freaks out, Daryl gets thrown from the horse and rolls rolls rolls down the bank and into the stream. Daryl looks around – not too bad, nasty little bump on his head, and oh yeah – protruding arrow in the side of his body. He impaled himself on the way down. Blood fills the water, and somewhere the spirit of a dead squirrel laughs with schadenfreude.

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"Kidney" and "quiver" sound very similar.

Daryl gets up and pulls out his commando training, ripping off pieces of his shirt and tying off his – well, waist, I guess – to cut down the bleeding. He leaves the arrow in because generally when you’re impaled, you don’t want to pull out the thing you’re impaled with because you’ll bleed to death all the more quicker. He looks up – he fell a long way down a steep embankment (although he seemed to roll down something with a much easier incline, but whatever) so it’s going to be a hell of a trip back up. There’s some activity in the bushes – chupacabra? Walker? Ned Beatty? His crossbow is missing too – though he knows where his arrow is. Luckily, the stream isn’t that big of an area to search, so Daryl quickly finds his crossbow using a stick and takes it with him on the trip up the hill. He’s trying to make his way up the hill, but it’s not easy, especially not with a pointy thing protruding from your side. He’s in pain, but he’s Daryl, damn it, and through the +3 fortitude bonus of Sophia’s doll (now equipped on his belt), he muscles on, trying to get up the hill.

Glenn sees Lori, and Lori tells him to shut up right away. Glenn responds by talking about Lori’s pregnancy, which I’m pretty sure is the opposite of what Lori was asking Glenn. Glenn can’t believe Lori hasn’t told Rick yet. I can’t believe Lori hasn’t beaten Glenn with a shovel yet.

Rick and Shane are back. Rick makes Shane out to be the bad guy to Lori and says that Shane wants to call off the thing but he wants to keep looking, thereby ensuring that whichever decision the group ends up making, he won’t be the bad guy. That’s why Rick is the leader, dammit. Rick defends keeping up the search, and Lori supports him. One of Hershel’s daughters (maybe?) finds Rick and says that Hershel wants to speak to him. Uh oh.

Back to Daryl, and he’s making his way up the hill, inspiring himself by calling himself female genitalia. You can tell he came from a loving, nurtured home environment. Apparently, Daryl is female genitalia, because he loses his footing and falls back down. No idea whether he broke his crown or not.

Back at the farm, Hershel’s pissed because one of his horses is missing. Rick said Daryl took it, and he said he was going to ask Hershel first before he did it. Yeah, that sounds like something Daryl would do – ask permission. Hershel also is pissed one of his people went out searching today – the kid is 17 and even though he’s not kin, he’s Hershel’s responsibility. Rick told Hershel what the kid had said (about already getting permission) which probably sounded a lot dumber as he said it out loud. Hershel wraps up his scolding by telling Rick that he’ll control his people if Rick can control his. No word on whether Rick has to stay in his room all night or if he gets supper.

Daryl’s out. Luckily, there’s someone there to help him. It’s everyone’s favorite racist, Daryl’s brother Merle! Merle rips into Daryl for being female genitalia, for not pulling out the arrow stuck in his side, for dumping him and leaving him to die, for chasing after a little girl, for the North winning the Civil War, etc. He tells Daryl that the rest of the group doesn’t respect him, that they laugh at him, and at the first opportunity they’re going to dump him off somewhere – scrape him off the bottom of their boot like he was Alpo afterproduct (yes, I’m cleaning up language. I’m not really sure why.) We get a shot of Merle – the hand that once ate chocolate-covered pretzels is still there, letting us know that this is Daryl’s imagination since Merle cut off his hand in order to get out of the handcuffs way back in season 1. Daryl’s going in and out of consciousness, and finally Merle decides he’s going to get Daryl going by grabbing his leg and pulling… pulling…

Daryl wakes up, and he is having his leg pulled – by a walker. Daryl realizes OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP and kicks the walker away and struggles with him a little bit before beating in the zombie’s head. This bring Daryl to the attention of another walker. Daryl, still not in any real condition to flee, does the only thing he can think of – he yanks his lone arrow out of its holder (namely his abdomen) loads it up, and gets off a shot at the other walker, going right through the zombie’s head and dropping it. It drops right alongside of Daryl, with the camera getting a nice profile shot of the walker’s head impaled on the arrow. Lovely.

This inspires Daryl who gets up, ties off the wound that no longer has an arrow in it (“son of a bitch was right”), slices open the squirrel he shot earlier for a little squirrel tartare (I’m pretty sure Alton Brown covered that in a early Good Eats), then starts going all Vietnam by cutting off the zombies’ ears and wearing them as a necklace. Merle’s back again to rip on Daryl some more, but this just seems to inspire Daryl up the hill. He finally makes it, and yells out to Merle, who he assumes has run away. Daryl knows he’s imagining this, right?

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"A woman with pants? This is madness! No one asked me!"

Lori and Carol are making dinner, and Hershel’s all pissed off again. Apparently, no one asked him if they could prepare a meal for him. He vents to Maggie, while also mentioning that he’s none too happy about whatever is going on between her and the “Asian boy”. I’m pretty sure Hershel doesn’t get magnets and yells at clouds in his spare time. Maggie doesn’t want to hear it – she’s too old to be hearing this crap from him.

Andrea’s on lookout on top of the RV, armed with a rifle and in her cowboy hat. Dale calls her Annie Oakley, and somewhere only Hershel gets the reference. Dale runs into Glenn, who asks if Andrea’s on her period, because he heard about women all getting their cycles at the same time and all the women are acting weird and Dale, in possibly the best advice ever given on this show, tells Glenn to keep that crap to himself. Glenn’s especially concerned with the way Maggie is toward him since one minute she wants nothing to do with him and the next minute she wants to have sex with him, and then she’s not interested again, plus Lori – er, never mind. Dale thinks it’s cute that “no concept what to do with or how to talk to any woman” Glenn thinks that Maggie wants to sleep with him until Glenn says that the deed is done already. Dale almost has a stroke, saying that banging the guy-who-hates-us-already’s daughter probably isn’t the best thing to do in the world. Glenn defends by saying that Maggie is 22 and has free will, but Dale still wants to know what Glenn was thinking. Glenn says he was thinking that he might be dead tomorrow. Point taken.

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Yeah, I can understand the confusion.

HEY LOOK T-DOG IS IN THE BACKGROUND and Andrea Oakley sees a walker. Rick says for everyone to hold on because Hershel wants to handle the walkers, and the entire group completely ignores him and goes to confront the walker anyway. As a father of three, I feel for ya, Rick. The group all goes running after this lone walker with their blunt instruments, but Andrea insists that she can take care of this one with her man rifle skills. Dale tells Andrea not to take a shot, but Andrea listens about as well as the rest of the group and continues to aim, despite 80% of the group now running in front of the walker. Rick gets close, pulls out his gun, and wait a second – it’s Daryl! Daryl, looking worse than a walker, makes a comment towards Rick, and everyone is glad they realized that Daryl wasn’t a walker.

Until Andrea shot him.

igotone 300x217 The Walking Dead Recap: Episode 2.5 – Chupacabra

Andrea's rifle instructor.

Logic flies completely out the window here. I get that Andrea felt a need to prove herself to the group. But it doesn’t hide the fact that

  • Ammunition is saved unless it is absolutely needed, because it’s scarce and draws the attention of walkers
  • Every single person told her not to
  • There are at least four members of the group (Rick, Shane, Glenn, and T-Dog) potentially in her way for any kind of clear shot
  • Those four members are standing there TALKING to the potential walker instead of trying to kill it or struggling with it in any way

Cripes. Luckily for Andrea (and the rest of the group), she’s still not that great of a shot, so it only grazed Daryl’s temple. The group brings in Daryl (quickly disposing of the zombie ear necklace), and with Andrea looking for someone to high five, she realizes that she just tried to kill one of the few people that she actually likes in the group, and one of the ones most likely to kill her in her sleep. Oh well.

Daryl wakes up, having been patched up by Hershel, and is on the mend. Hershel’s pissed (OF COURSE) because he wants to know where his horse is. Daryl mentions that he doesn’t know where the horse THAT TRIED TO KILL HIM is, and Hershel snaps back that he must have taken the horse that gets scared all the time which he would have told him about HAD HE EVER BEEN ASKED. Hershel pretty much calls the entire group idiots and he’s surprised that they’re still alive. No tension here at all.

Meanwhile, Andrea feels like crap for being a complete idiot. Dale tries to cheer her up by saying that at one time or another the entire group has wanted to shoot Daryl. Tee hee! All is forgiven! You start to understand where Ghost Merle is coming from.

Finally, the big dinner that Hershel never asked for so it probably tastes bad because they didn’t ask about recipes or how to use ovens takes place, not that anyone asked Hershel, dammit. Glenn, pushed off to kiddie table exile, tries to break the tension by asking if anyone knows how to play guitar, because they’ve got one and it might be nice. Hershel, who finally gets asked something, says that there was one person who knows how to play guitar – Otis. And he was real good too. You know, before he got killed getting medicine for your damned kid. Glenn, realizing that he should never talk again ever, gets a note from Maggie – “Tonight – where?” Glenn gets all giddy, which doesn’t go unnoticed.

Back at Daryl’s bedside, Carol brings him a plate of food and gives him a kiss on the head. Carol says that Daryl did more for Sophia today than her father did in a lifetime. Yeah – someone better start kissing up to Daryl, because after the zombie ear necklace and getting shot by his own group, he might not like you guys too much.

Maggie, away from the group, goes to open up the note she got back from Glenn to find out where their little rendezvous is going to take place. “Ever done it in a hayloft?” Oh, that sounds like fun – the hayloft in the barn…OH CRAP NOT THE BARN HEY GLENN

Glenn, meanwhile, strolls out to the barn. Maggie runs after him, but he’s already climbing into the top of the barn before Maggie can get within earshot. Glenn examines his surroundings – this might work, but damn does it smell bad in here. He looks around, and there on the first floor – zombies. A whole slew of ‘em. Glenn, shining his light, draws their attention, and they’d LOVE to meet Glenn. Glenn, realizing he needs to get the hell out of there, strangely avoids any collapsing floor pieces and makes his way back the way he came in, where he runs into Maggie. Maggie tells Glenn flat out “you weren’t supposed to see this.” YA THINK?

Credits.

[Header image via Hulu.com. Show images from amctv.com. Cartoon still from MGM's "Field And Scream" - 1955.]

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