Glee: “Audition” [Recap]

I’ve got to tell you guys, I am stupid excited that Glee came back for a second season. Back in April I wrote this post to share my love of this show with you all. It’s got practically everything you need to keep you entertained: the good guy, the hot girl, the jock, the nerd, the self-conscious teens, the villain you love to hate… Best of all are the performances. And I know, because I lived and breathed some form of Glee Club from preschool all the way to my freshman year of high school. (I would have kept going, but those damn California budget cuts prevented me.)

As always, the show kicks off from what you may have missed previously, in this case, the first season. *cue acapella group for accompaniment*

Quinn Fabray, former captain of the Cheerios, gives birth to a little girl. Rachel Berry, the group’s diva, and Finn Hudson, the star QB, finally admit their feelings out in the open and become an item. Sue Sylvester, the coach of the Cheerios, and Will Schuester, the director of Glee Club, make peace with each other after a long school year of fighting it out over practice space, performance techniques, and budget. And the whole Glee gang have to decide how they’re going to make a comeback after failing to place in Regionals and losing to their rivals, Vocal Adrenaline.

And that’s what you missed on Glee. *end acapella*

Summer’s over, and school is back in session. The students of William McKinley High are gearing up for a brand new school year, but before we get into the new semester, we’ve gotta find out what everyone did during break. So our favorite high school journalist, Jacob Ben Israel, takes his camera and interviews the members of New Directions in what he dubs as “Glee’s Big Gay Summer.” He starts off with Finn and Rachel, asking her to confirm rumors about her controlling nature in their relationship. Rachel defends her personality, whereas Finn refers to her as a “controllist.” Moving on to Mr. Schue, Jacob pops the question of why Glee’s musical selection tends to be “gay” in choice. Will states that it’s “twenty-five percent show tunes, twenty-five percent hip-hop, twenty-five percent classic rock” before Jacob interrupts with “one hundred percent gay.”

We move into the boy’s locker room, where Jacob sits down with Puck and asks if the rumors about his vasectomy are true or not. Jacob also pries into Puck’s love life, specifically if he still has feelings for Quinn. This transitions us towards a hallway, where Quinn, Santana, and Brittany are standing. Jacob asks Quinn how she feels to be back in school. As Quinn responds, the camera sways over to Santana’s noticeably larger chest. As a pretext to sneak a closer look, Jacob asks Santana a question before being interrupted by Brittany and one of her classic brain-dead statements.

The camera swings over to Mike and Tina, the token Asian students. Jacob asks if they’re dating, and both look annoyed at the question. However, just as they turn around the corner, they reach out and hold hands. We’re not the only ones to witness this: Artie, Tina’s crush of last season, notices painfully as he passes in the opposite direction.

The stinging questions keep coming, which prompts Kurt, our frivalous gay boy, to make the following statement: the members of Glee have shown a great deal of courage by getting together and performing in front of people. Instead of having the school mock them by posting rude comments on Jacob’s blog, he encourages them to step up and say what they have on their mind to his face. And as the old saying, “Ask and you shall receive,” goes, Kurt gets a facefull of cherry-flavored Icee thrown by a jock.

With a new year brings the potential for new recruits. All of the clubs and teams have placed sign-up sheets around campus, and students are eagerly filling out their names on the lines. The sign-up sheet for the Cheerios takes up almost a full ream of paper and has an endless line of girls waiting to sign, even with the large sign that clearly states “NO FATTIES.” This is a stark contrast to the single sheet for Glee Club, which announces that no tryouts are required, and Mr. Schue is disappointed that not a single name has been added. Sue happens to catch Will’s crestfallen face and tells him that no one wants to be in a club where everyone can get in. Before Will can get a word in edgewise, Sue’s pager goes off: they’re being summoned to Principal Figgings office.

Bad news is awaiting the two: both of the budgets have been reduced so that more funds can be placed into sports. Sue angrily objects to the ten percent cut and Will is devastated – Glee barely has any money as it is. A new voice argues that in order to obtain more alumni donations, a school needs to have a winning football team and the new football coach is introduced: Shannon Beiste (pronounced beast). Beiste (or Panther, as she likes to call herself) has 5 championships under her belt – very much like Sue. This direct competition angers Sue “You’re all coffee and no omlette” is Beiste’s response to Sue’s usual barcade of insults. (And as if Sue could dive into my head, we both agreed that that statement made no sense.)

In the meantime, Mr. Schue is trying to get his team enthused about recruiting new students for Glee. He points out that comments on Jacob’s blog have been negative and that if they’re going to Nationals (held in New York this year), they need to have a more upbeat and modern image. Rachel points out that if they’re going to beat Vocal Adrenaline, they’ll need more singers to help level the playing field. The gang performs “Empire State of Mind” in the middle of the school yard, hoping to stir something in their fellow classmates, but when the song ends, no one is applauding.

The team takes it upon themselves to start posting fliers for auditions. Finn is placing up his own version of the flier in the boys’ locker room when he hears someone singing “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” in the shower. It turns out to be Sam Evans, a new transfer student and one that Finn caught tapping his foot to the beat during their lunchtime performance. Finn is impressed with his vocal talents and is tempted to join, but realizes “dude is naked.”

In the meantime, Rachel is in the girls’ bathroom with her batch of fliers when another girl, Sunshine Corazon, walks in. Rachel recognizes her from their lunch performance as well, and asks her to consider joining Glee. She soon regrets her offer when she hears Sunshine singing the opening lines of “Telephone.” The two have a sing-off in the bathroom and seem to be feeding off of each other’s energy before Sue bursts in, yelling at them to shut up.

Cut to the boys’ locker room. Beiste makes the announcement that everyone on the football team has been cut and must try out again. She asks the boys if they have any questions; a pizza delivery guy walks in and announces he’s got twenty-five pies with everything for a Coach Beiste. A bewildered look crosses her face; she hasn’t ordered any pizzas. Outside of the locker room are Sue and Will, snickering to each other over their prank. Sue’s plan is to slowly bully the Panther out of McKinley – with Beiste gone, the Cheerios will have a full budget again and Sue will be the reining hard-ass of the school. Unfortunately her plan falls through: Beiste pays for the pizzas after the delivery guy tells a sob story and invites Will and Sue in for the impromptu party.

Meanwhile, Artie is trying to convince Finn that he’d make the perfect addition to the football team. When Finn inquires why Artie wants to try out, we discover it’s a plot to try and win back Tina’s affections. There’s a quick flashback to “Asian Camp,” where Tina and Mike are counselors who are entertaining the kids with “Getting to Know You.” Mike, dancing in all his shirtless glory, makes Tina’s heart flutter, and she jumps up for a makeout session in front of the campers. At the start of school, Tina announces to Artie that he was a horrible boyfriend and that Mike tries to take part in her interestes (like his abs). It’s Artie’s hope that by showing Tina his “athletic” abilities, she’ll dump Mike and return to him. He plants the idea of Finn pushing his wheelchair full force down the field; that way, Artie has the potential to be a metal battering ram (or, to Finn, the human cannon ball). Finn agrees to help, but only if Artie will help him convince Sam to audition for Glee.

Sam finds himself in front of the football members of Glee and Artie. He nervously introduces himself, but breaks the ice when Puck asks him: “how many tennis balls can you fit in your mouth?” “I don’t know, I’ve never had balls in my mouth. Have you?” Finn asks if he has a song he can play, and Sam performs “Billionaire.” The guys are impressed and ask if he’d be willing to return for a real audition in front of Mr. Schue and the rest.

While the guys are excited about their new potential teammate, Rachel is freaking out about Sunshine and tries to get Mercedes and Kurt on her side to shun her. Rachel acts concerned about their potential talents being overshadowed even more if Sunshine gets in, but Kurt and Mercedes both feel that extra talent is necessary to win at Nationals this year. Rachel sighs, agrees that they’re right, and goes to look for Sunshine. She finds the girl by her locker and gives her a piece of paper, telling her to show up at this address for the audition and how much she’s looking forward to hearing her sing tomorrow. As she turns away, you can see the wheels literally turning in her head – something’s up with that address, but we aren’t sure what.

Sue’s plan to bully Beiste is slowly working. During lunch in the faculty room, Beiste is looking around for an available seat. She spots Sue at an empty table and asks if the seats are occupied. Sue tells her they are, so Beiste moves on to Will’s empty table. He also tells her that the seats are taken, which hurts her terribly. Beiste finds refuge in the locker room, wiping away the tears and freshening up her lipstick (c’mon guys – she is a woman after all). Finn wheels Artie in and tells the coach that he’d like to try out for the team. Her emotions raw, Beiste thinks that Finn is part of the plot to make fun of her and snaps – she refuses to let Artie try out and kicks Finn off of the team.

Sue’s holding tryouts for the Cheerios and Quinn shows up. She baits Sue by mentioning the good word she’d get if church groups knew a teenage mother was rehabilitated by Sue’s efforts and now speaks for abstinence while wearing the cheerleading uniform. This makes Sue think, but not as much as Finn showing up for tryouts as an attempt to be a part of a team. Will tries to have a talk with Beiste and Figgins to get Finn back on the team, but Beiste is firm with her decision: “I’m the captain of the USS Kick Ass, not the USS Back Talk.” He asks that she give Finn another chance, but she storms out.

Sue confronts Santana about the rumor of a breast enhancement job and reminds her of a strict “no plastics” policy. In a rare moment for Sue, she shows her frustration at Santana undergoing such a huge change on her teenage body and annoyance at having drawn attention to herself in such an unnatural way. As punishment, Santana gets demoted to the literal bottom of the pyramid and makes Quinn the captain. Santana takes out her anger on Quinn after seeing her walking confidently in her old uniform and a fight breaks out; she believes that Quinn spilled the beans about her surgery. Mr. Schue intervenes, but the girls continue to stare each other down as Santana walks away.

No one shows up for auditions, and naturally the entire team is crestfallen. Finn tries to get everyone to stay a little bit longer to see if Sam will show up, but Kurt points out that without his status as the QB, no one finds Glee remotely interesting at all. Mercedes wonders where Sunshine is; Rachel shoots off an excuse that she probably didn’t want to be thought of as a loser too.

Sue has one more trick up her sleeve for Beiste and uses Brittany to try and get Beiste fired by making false sexual harrassment claims. The three of them are sitting in Principal Figgins’ office with Brittany pointing out on a doll where Coach Beiste supposedly touched her. Will happens to stop by, sees Brittany, and becomes concerned. Sue shoots Will a look to keep up their charade, but Will realizes that her joke has gone too far and asks Brittany to tell the truth. She admits that she was the one who wanted to feel Beiste’s breasts instead of the other way around. (Classy!) Sue blows up at Will for blowing her plans, but before a full fledged fight can start, Mike and Tina interrupt with an urgent message.

It turns out that the address Rachel gave Sunshine was to a crack house. Rachel apologizes by saying it wasn’t an active crack house, but the guilt of her actions weighs in after Tina, Mike, and Mr. Schue all express their disappointment. She chases Sunshine down in the hallway and invites to audition the next day in the auditorium. Sunshine performs “Listen” with absolute confidence on the stage. The entire Glee Club is blown away by her talent, which is exactly what Rachel was scared of.

Will sees Beiste the next day at lunch and apologizes for his behavior, which she accepts. Sue tries one more joke by offering a plate of “chocolate chip” cookies. Both Will and Beiste make comments about the smell and Sue claims it’s coming from the flaxseed oil; she wanted to have “heart-healthy cookies for some of our burlier Americans.” Will tells Sue that he’s not going to participate in any more of her cruel jokes; she becomes livid (ah, back to the old relationship!) and warns Will and Beiste that they will not enjoy being on shit list.

Meanwhile, Finn catches Sam in the locker room and asks why he didn’t show up for the audition. Sam admits he lost the nerve when he saw how unpopular Glee is around campus and that he’s already under enough pressure being the new kid. In terms Finn can understand, Sam doesn’t want to “start off three touchdowns behind.” Finn understands and congratulates Sam on making the team; his smile fades a little when he discovers that Sam is the new QB for the team.

Will comes up to Sunshine to give her the Fall rehearsal schedule and finds a man standing next to her. The man announces that Sunshine won’t be joining and introduces himself as Dustin Goolsby, new coach of Vocal Adrenaline. Sue passes by with perfect timing, telling Will that she called Dustin to let him know about Sunshine and that he should have just gone with the poo cookies. Sunshine quietly admits that she would have joined Glee, but knew that her life would be unbearable with Rachel there.

Finn has a talk with Rachel. He had to intervene on her behalf in Glee, as the rest of the group was ready to throw her out. Seeing that he’s just as upset as Mike and Tina were, Rachel tells Finn to break up with her. She tries to support her reasons by saying she did it out of love for the group, but Finn points out that the love for herself is what pushed her ahead. He tells her he won’t break up with her, and they kiss. She asks for a little bit of time to herself in the auditorium, where she sings “What I Did For Love.” The last line of the song has her walking into Glee, ready to apologize to the entire team.

This first episode holds a huge promise for a lot of change, drama, and new characters for the season. Although I can’t say I’m excited about the next episode featuring Britney Spears, I am totally down for whatever this show has to throw at me.