Everything By Everyone

March 25th marks the 10th anniversary of when I signed up for a profile on Newgrounds.com. And that’s probably the longest I have stayed committed to an online site *ever*.



I had to double check that date to make sure I was adding correctly. It’s displayed on my user info, plain as day, but it’s one of those things that will make you do a double take.

If you aren’t familiar with Newgrounds, it’s the place where people can submit their Flash animation and music and have it rated by the public on a scale from 0 to 5 (or, as we refer to them as, blams and saves). Sign up as a member and you get a nifty user icon and voting power (the more you vote on submissions, the more impact it can have).

This is also the website that was the starting point of the awful Numa Numa Dance. Maybe that will ring a bell?

I originally started visiting Newgrounds for its hilarious mockery of the Teletubbies. The purple one seemed to follow the Church of Satan, the green one was a pimp (I think), and there was a drinking game you could play with the yellow one (I want to say) – loser threw up first. I cheated of course, being under 21 and living in a house that did not have any alcohol on hand.

Some of the characters that have established themselves on the site:

Pico: Probably the most recognized face on Newgrounds next to the Tankmen. Along with the Teletubbies and the infamous “Club A Seal” game, Pico was notorious for violence. Particularly gun violence. His two best buddies are Nene, a suicidal Asian, and Darnell, a pyromaniac. The bad guys here are the Uberkids, clones from the project Human Genome who came equipped with a bowl haircut.

The Clock Crew: The Clock Crew came into being when a user called “Strawberry Clock” submitted a flash piece that was simply a white background with a capital letter B in red. From that day, a sort of cult following started that gave birth to other “clocks” and their art. This would spawn other groups, such as the Lock Legion, the Kitty Krew, the Uzi Union, and the Star Syndicate. Most of the time these groups would produce nothing more than spam, but every now and then a jewel would be produced. A very fake and ugly jewel to be sure, but it had enough going for the public to decide to keep it on the website forever.

Tankmen: The Tankmen were created as a joke based on the little tankman featured in the NG logo. It’s the year 20XX, the world has been destroyed, and the Captain and Steve are our idiot heros who just barely manage to kick the enemy’s ass and save the day. The bad guys (I wish I knew what they were called – all I know is Private Skittles!) have a tiny advantage over the Tankmen in terms of intelligence, but their downfail is their obsession in finding homosexual tones in everything. (Trust me, both sides have a lot of cock jokes, but I think the bad guys take pride in being able to find something “gay.”)

And last but not least, the Angry Faic:


I’m sure there’s a good backstory to this character, but I’m not 100% sure what it is. Its face is well known, and I couldn’t imagine Newgrounds without it.

Below is a collection of the creme de la creme from this site. I couldn’t sum it up better myself.