Ever since its inception television has been accused by its detractors of being evil and making us stupid. Now, I don’t disagree that I am stupid, but how can something be evil and give the world so much? Our culture is so rich and sparkly that I can’t even fathom life today without the magic box.
My vocabulary, for example, has been affected fairly positively. I mean, I write for one of classiest pop culture websites out there and I haven’t yet been told to get the funk out. So if you want to be a pseudo-successful, non-paid, nerd writer like me, you could do a lot worse things than watch an unbelievable amount of TV.
To help you spruce up your sad vocabulary I’ve ripped out a couple of pages from my personal dictionary and pasted together a list of the 10 greatest words given to us by television.
Read and absorb, friends. Read and absorb!
Word: Bitchcakes
Origin: Newsradio
Definition: berserk, crazy, freaked out
Example: “Everyone is going totally bitchcakes today.”
Word: Blurgh
Origin: 30 Rock
Definition: an expression of disgust, replacement swear word
Example: “Blurgh! I forgot to write that stupid TV article for today.”
Word: Cromulent
Origin: The Simpsons
Definition: normal, acceptable, legitimate
Example: “Embiggen is a perfectly cromulent word.”
Word: Crumbelievable
Origin: Commercial for Kraft Cheese
Definition: I’m not quite sure. It makes me smile every time I say it.
Example: “The big cheese taste that blows you away. It’s CRUMBELIEVABLE!”
Word: Embiggen
Origin: The Simpsons
Definition: to make or become bigger
Example: “A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man.”
Word: Frak
Origin: Battlestar Galactica
Definition: replacement for the word fuck
Example: “Frak you. You frakking, motherfrakker!”
Word: Semprini
Origin: Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Definition: profanity, unspecified body part
Example: “Right, who’s got a boil on his Semprini, then?”
Word: Shazbot
Origin: Mork and Mindy
Definition: replacement swear word
Example: “Shazbot! When will this article end?”
Word: Strategery
Origin: Saturday Night Live
Definition: pseudo-strategy
Example: “Bush summarized his campaign with one word: strategery”
Word: Wikiality
Origin: The Colbert Report
Definition: the idea that if enough people agrees with a notion, it becomes the truth
Example: “In the Wikiality we can create a reality we can all agree on.”
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Hollis J. Caveman is a film student and full time nerd from the beautifully dreadful state of Maine. 
To quote a wise man: “Television! Teacher. Mother. Secret Lover.”
.-= Hollis J. Caveman´s last blog ..I’m not dead…I’m just not on Twitter anymore. =-.
You forgot “gorram”. TURN IN YOUR GEEK BADGE NOW. WHY AM I YELLING
Word: Gorram
Origin: Firefly
Definition: Some sort of futuristic swear word, possibly Chinese in origin.
Example: “Those gorram feds are after us.”
I’m all about the inclusion of bitchcakes and blurgh, though.
In my defense, I limited myself to a list of 10 and I already had 4 perfectly good curse words. Gorram will be included in my corrected addition next year.
.-= Hollis J. Caveman´s last blog ..I’m not dead…I’m just not on Twitter anymore. =-.
Turn in YOUR geek badge. Well, maybe not. You did suggest it, and I didn’t think of it first.
Gorram is a derivative of “goddamn.”
Also “frell,” but you said frak, which is the same thing. I just like Farscape better than BSG.
“Gorram” is not Chinese in origin. It is meant to be a replacement for a certain swear word, “G*d d*mn.”
“Gorram” is not new, nor was it from “Firefly” originally. It’s almost as old as English. It’s a mispronunciation of the word “goddamn” which is not uncommon in certain English dialects.
Excellent list! What happened to “scrumulescent?”
I’m sorry, sir, but what are you talking about, Willis? Scrumulescent?
.-= Hollis J. Caveman´s last blog ..I’m not dead…I’m just not on Twitter anymore. =-.
Another SNL creation, from the Inside the Actors Studio skits.
True, so many of them seem to be replacement swear words, like the oh, so popular ‘smeg’, from Red Dwarf.
Smeg is also pretty common in English. It’s a shortened version of “smegma”.
You can look it up yourself. It’s not the most pleasant definition.
I was gonna add smeg also. It may be common in British English but i doubt if you could find many Americans who have even heard the word and 9 out of 10 of them heard in on Red Dwarf. I used to call people smeghead all the time. That is until the internet came along and i could look up the meaning. The day I accidentally called a national park police officer a smeghead also contributed to a general ban on usage in my family. Luckily, he didn’t know what it meant. I totally got away with saying it was a family nonsense word. My family members were behind his back with horrified looks.
Frak is from Farscape
Frak is from the original BSG.
Wikiality over truthiness? Hurm.
Oh, and it’s scrumTRulescent. You know… for the record. Or whatever.
You took the word right out of my mouth.
What? No truthiness?
agreed.
frakk, you mean the bsg sad ripoff of Frell, from Farscape?
Actually they used Frak in the original 1978-79 BSG. Not sure how far back Farscape goes.
Strategery was first used by Bugs Bunny. List Fail.
Bugs’ mispronunciations were all over the place, aided by his Flatbush accent. That said, I don’t think I ever remember him saying “strategery”.
Nothing at all from Seinfeld? REALLY???
I think Seinfeld was more about phrases. Master of my domain. Quiet talker. Etc.
One word for the list: meh.
Frak, originally spelled “frack”, was used on the original Battlestar Gallactica..and thus predates Farscape.
Blurgh? Really? Blurgh?
Your list can be summed up in the very word that it should have been designed to celebrate yet confoundedly omits: Meh.
Bugs Bunny never said “strategery.” He said “stragety.” Get your pop culture references straight, people. Sheesh.
Well, Seinfeld could be attributed to “Yadda, Yadda, Yadda.” I have actually used that to shorten a story.
But it is a phrase…technically speaking. 