300 Word Review: Ninja Assassin (2009)

ninjaassassin1 300 Word Review: Ninja Assassin (2009) Ninja Assassin (2009)

Ninja Assassin stars Korean pop sensation Rain. Rain has an obscene supply of shapely, well-toned muscles. He looks the part of a lethal killer; at least if a lethal killer has honed every muscly part of the body so it pops and ripples like the live-action version of the cover of a romance book.

Ninja Assassin is geared to people that loves ninjas. That’s 49% of the world population. Or, in a word: males. Men love ninjas and fighting and blood and guts. It’s cool! The first step in making awesome movie about ninjas is not, however, to cast a little known (in the Western world) Asian pop star with no martial arts credentials and an acting arsenal comparable to a wax Terminator figure.

The movie almost works more as a horror movie. But not quite. There is a gratuitous amount of blood, but most of it is of the stylized CGI variety which almost works to convey a manga type presentation. But not quite. The ninjas fight out of the shadows like Freddy Kruger. They’re rarely seen, but when they are it is usually while running away from the copious amount of blood jutting from a gut wound. Think Elevator::The Shining .

A ninja named Razio (Rain) decides that he dislikes the nefarious ways of the ancient Nine Clans of Ninja, so he goes rouge and dedicates his time to interfering with ninja assignation plots (Ninjas apparently work for the government). During course, Razio saves a girl who is on her way to exposing the secret ninja society.

What Ninja Assassin is missing: