[Retro Bunker] Clue

Some of the best memories of my childhood revolved around a board game. Hours of strategy and planning just to finally beat my big sister at something. She always seemed to have luck on her side when picking a card or rolling the dice (I’m pretty sure she was cheating.), but that all changed when I got Clue for Christmas. I was so good at Clue.

When I was eventually introduced to the lighthearted silver screen adaptation it became a quick favorite of mine. It always makes me smile because of it’s awesome combination of murder mystery and goofy humor.

The Suspects:

Wadsworth (Tim Curry): The humble butler who knows more than he is letting on.

Colonel Mustard (Martin Mull): The basic stubborn American military officer. Stole important parts from planes during WWII and sold them for personal profit.

Mrs. Peacock (Eileen Brennan): The wife of a senator who has been taking bribes in exchange for consideration.

Mrs. White (Madeline Kahn): A black widow who has probably killed her last five husbands.

Professor Plume (Christopher Lloyd): A psychiatrist who lost his license to practice for philandering with a patient.

Miss Scarlett (Lesley Ann Warren): A madam who runs a popular escort ring in Washington.

Mr. Green (Michael McKean): A homosexual man who needs to keep it a secret.

Yvette (Colleen Camp): The comely maid.

Mr. Boddy (Lee Ving): The reason for the meeting. The first “body”.

And

A small handful of people who are around long enough to be whacked by the killer (most notably Jane Wiedlin from “The Go-Go’s” as The Singing Telegram Girl).

The Movie:

On a dark and rainy night a group of apparent strangers find themselves invited to a sinister looking mansion with the promise of a resolution. All of them have something they wish to keep secret but are being threatened with exposure by the blackmailer that they all share.

The butler, Wadsworth, (whose job it is to “buttle”) greets each one of his guests with their pre-assigned aliases (Peacock, Mustard, Green etc) and quickly shuttles them the the Library. Once the immediate group has arrived, with only the mysterious Mr. Boddy missing, dinner is served.

Over a lovely meal of monkey brains (interestingly not often found in Washington D.C.) we learn a little more about the guests, wild accusations fly, and wait for it…Mr. Boddy makes his dramatic entrance. Dinner concludes and everyone adjourns to the Study except for Boddy who throws a hissy fit and tries to make a brake for it only to be stopped by some angry pups and the butler. Mr. Boddy is obviously hiding something.

Wadsworth drags Boddy back to the Study and we learn even more damning facts about the guests. The most damning fact reveled in this confrontation is that Mr. Boddy is the one who is in fact blackmailing all of them. The butler reveals that he won’t let anyone out of the mansion until the police show up and everyone implicates Boddy in the blackmail, also damning themselves in the process.

Mr. Boddy happily passes out weapons from the classic board game (the candlestick, the revolver, the rope etc) and suggests that if they want to leave before the police arrive they kill Wadsworth and take his key. Boddy turns the light off and when it comes back on he lays dead on the floor (or does he?).

Long story short (too late…) hilarity ensues, a couple of people get snuffed out, communism is suspected (it’s a red herring) and three surprising logical endings are reached.

Modus Operandi:

This movie is unique in that in contains not one but three wild endings: A, B, and C (aka What Really Happened…).

A: The former call girl, Yvette the Maid, killed Boddy for Miss Scarlett. Scarlett killed Yvette, the cook, the motorist, the cop, and the singing telegram girl to cover herself and keep her business safe. Wadsworth reveals himself to be an FBI agent, and arrests the madam.

B: Mrs. Peacock killed everyone. Wadsworth is FBI, and Peacock goes to jail.

C: Plum killed Boddy, Peacock killed the cook, Mustard killed the motorist. Scarlett killed the cop, and White killed Yvette. Wadsworth killed the sing telegram girl and is actually Mr. Boddy! Mr. Green kills Wadsworth, but is actually FBI and is not really gay.

What now?:

Much of the feel of the movie is borrowed from the classic film “Murder by Death” (also starring Eileen Brennan). Make sure to check it out.

A lot of the main cast were in, and go on to star in some pretty amazing movies. “Rocky Horror Picture Show”, “This is Spinal Tap”, and “Back to the Future” are favorites of mine.