Better Than a Poke in the Eye with a Sharp Stake of Holly

We made a list.
We checked it twice.
Okay, maybe we wrote it the day before it was due.

The point is, whether you were naughty or nice, the Baroness and the Caveman have a present for you. Present, you say? Humbug, you say? We-he-helll, even if you wanna tell us to just keep our infernal “Merry Christmas,” you’ll be in prime condition to check out this list of adaptations of one of our favorite holiday tales: Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.

First up, the Caveman’s favorites:

A Christmas Carol (1984)

Starring George C. Scott as the irascible Ebenezer Scrooge this film, originally produced for television, has found a new life on DVD and subsequently within the hearts of the fans of the story. The cast, which is dominated mainly by bit players and character actors, brings the much needed emotional backing that is required to get you personally invested in the old miser’s reformation. England in the wintertime as portrayed by this TV special is bleak and dank which adds to the story in it’s own great way.

Scott’s Scrooge is by far my personal favorite portrayal of Dickens’ original grumpy old man. The anger and gruffness of the character strikes at the soul and gives way to the inner sadness and eventual compassion that we all come to expect.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

It’s strange to say that one of absolute best adaptations of  A Christmas Carol is dominated mainly by non-human actors, but it’s true. The Muppet Christmas Carol is a slapstick adventure where the audience is guided by Charles Dickens (as portrayed by The Great Gonzo) and the ever obstreperous Rizzo the Rat through that one faithful night that changed everything for Ebenezer Scrooge. The film goes through moments of obtuse silliness but never veers from the point the story set out over a hundred and fifty years ago, the redemption of the human soul.

The music that is masterfully weaved throughout this strangely deep movie is the easily the most heartfelt and uplifting stuff that you’ll ever get from anything involving puppets.

Honorable Mentions:

• A Flintstones Christmas Carol (1994) – A fun and interesting look at if Charles Dickens was born a couple billion years earlier. Best A Christmas Carol within A Christmas Carol since Scrooged.
• A Christmas Carol (1999) – Even though Patrick Stewart doesn’t fit the physical model of Scrooge, he knows the character better than man alive. My second favorite portrayal of the old miser.
  

And now, the Baroness presents hers:

Scrooge (1970)

Albert Finney stars as the cantankerous title character in a film that’s everything a musical should be. The songs are catchy and cute without being overly cheesy. The “Thank You Very Much” song is a staple in my family; we find each other singing it and drawing newcomers into its madness year-round.

Also, the Scrooge-in-Hell sequence just slays me every time. Finney turns out the perfect caricature of bewilderment and horror as Marley shows him the ropes… er, chains! It’s so dark and strange, yet comical and almost cartoonish, which is a perfectly fitting damnation for Finney-as-Scrooge. Some Scrooges are serious and full of gravitas, while others are campy and overly affectatious. I think Finney struck the perfect balance of the two in this film that leaves me completely entertained.

The Stingiest Man In Town (1978)

Who doesn’t love the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials? The same team that brought us Burl Ives in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Fred Astair Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town gave us Walter Matthau as another wonderfully grumptastic Scrooge. This is another musical adaptation I can get behind. The songs are singable and heartwarming (or chilling) without making me roll my eyes at their corniness.

One of the great things about any good cartoon adaptation is that you can do things with cartoons you can’t with real people, at least, not without a giant special effects budget and technology that wasn’t likely around in the late 70′s either. The ghosts glow and fly, and the addition of B.A.H. Humbug, esq. as the literal fly-on-the-wall gives us a fun slant on the perspective. He’s not an omniscient narrator, and he shares Scrooge’s adventures much as we might if we were sucked into the movie, making it easy to let the world fall away for a little while as we just enjoy the story. This version also includes my favorite rendition of the Cratchit children.

Honorable Mentions:

• Scrooge (1951) One of those “gravitas” Scrooges I mentioned above, I think Alastair Sim just nailed the role.
• Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983) I think my favorite thing about this may be Donald Duck as Fred. I don’t know why, but usually I don’t give Fred much thought in any other adaptation but this one. It’s as light-hearted and silly as you’d expect a Disney cartoon to be, but was made before that also automatically meant “lame.”

And now, the one we agreed on the most:

A Christmas Carol (2004)

Caveman says: The general rule was that most adaptations made for more than $200 are enjoyable to some extent. That rule was broken when, the usually good Kelsey Grammer decided to take on the role of Ebenezer in a musical version of the usually beloved classic. This version, which contains some of Jason Alexander’s worst work on screen, misses the point of the story completely. Even going so far to needlessly change some of the more important details. For example: Young Scrooge’s forlorn love interest Belle is replaced by the all too flirty Emily.

Baroness says: The only way I made it through the first 30 minutes of this fracas was to tell myself it was Kelsey Grammer as Frasier Crane as Albert Finney as Ebenezer Scrooge. That was the only possible explanation for his intensely over-acted attempt that came across more like a constipated Quasimodo than a hard-hearted miser. Speaking of terrible acting, Jason Alexander ought to have been boiled in his own pudding for what he did to the image of Jacob Marley. It was after his saccharine musical number that I could be haunted no longer. If the people at Hallmark ever decide to decrease the surplus population of holiday movies, I hope they start with this one.

What’s your favorite adaptation of A Christmas Carol? Think about it and let us know while you recover from candy cane sugar shock.

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