Happy Charlie Sheen Day

I haven’t posted all week. Weak, right? So, as for “Thanksgiving,” I call it Charlie Sheen Day. It is for him that I am thankful. Why? I don’t know. Because he was desperate enough to captain a sinking ship when Michael J Fox left Spin City? Because I respect a man that is speed dial #1 on the cell phone of a bordello owner? Because he played the serious one in Young Guns? I guess for all those things and the fact that, as far as I know, he did not break hundreds of resolutions with Native Americans nor ever pass out, one would hope, a filthy horse blanket populated with a genocidal disease (biological weapon, WMD).

For the traditional aspect of Charlie Sheen née Thanksgiving Day, there is this guy:

But I’m a vegetarian, you see. So my turkey of choice:

To absorb some of the 80 proof goodness, there will be baked salmon:

Because fish are vegetables as far as I know.

Here is William S. Burroughs reminding of what to be thankful:

The final thing I want to talk about it spending money. It is not the aim of this blog to be heavy-handed with (or even suggest) sociological, political, or religious commentary (the general tone of this post and WSB video above notwithstanding). Everyone should have their beliefs. However, I do believe very strongly that folks are taken advantage of during the three month “Christmas” Holiday.

This year try scaling back. When my wife and I still gave gifts and were struggling small business owners, our gifts were baskets filled with chili and cookies (homemade and canned), framed photos that we took relating to the gift receiver, original art or crafts, and stories or crappy poems. Our close friends and family liked them – but I am sure like most gifts it eventually got shoved under something or other, thrown away, stuck in a drawer, and otherwise forgotten. Which is what always happens to one’s gifts to another – now is a time for honesty.

Instead of buying that $13 LED flashlight at Radioshack with an AM receiver and USB port for storing 96kbs MP3s and 8-bit graphics, try making a rice crispie bust of Megatron or something. Take some photos of the process, goof around in photoshop, and give that to the nephew that one sees four times a year. The rotten brat probably expects everyone to buy him a X-Box game, but that’s just freaking life. He needs to learn to deal with disappointment. Anyway, he is not likely to forget the gift and at and older age will probably appreciate it. Additionally you had fun making it and didn’t spend $40 on the booger because of some strange guilt and entitlement reflex.

All I am saying is try scaling back on the extended family first. Next year one can bring it in a rung and scale back on closer family. Eventually one will get to the point where no family member expects lavish gifts. I think a person will be amazed at the money he saves. And the lack of stress? (Evil Shredder-Joker-Kung Fu laugh) There won’t be any. A person can save himself time, money, and stress. In other words, a body will increase his life expectancy and have more time and greater financial security to enjoy it. What is the down side?

At very least:

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