Did That Just Happen? Four Movies That Define "What The??"

I tried really, really hard not to make my first entry a list. My recycle bin is full of crumpled ideas (thirty years ago, I would have a metal trash can next to my desk to collect all my false starts; somehow a desktop icon isn’t as romantic). Why no list? Between High Fidelity and The A.V. Club’s Inventory, it felt like I was cheating-taking the easy way out. But what good is having a “style” if you can’t rob from your heroes? So screw integrity, and away we go…

Three B-Movies (and One Notorious Flop) Defined By What The?? Moments

1.  Rat Pfink a Boo-Boo

Directed by B-movie auteur Ray Dennis Steckler (who went on to direct softcore pornography), this movie’s What The moment comes roughly halfway through. After plodding through an eternity of somewhat serious scenes that may or may not have to do with an obscene phone caller, two characters jump into a closet and emerge as the titular characters. From there, the tone becomes manic, backyard wrestling-style fights ensue, and the day is saved (?). Sometimes people just stumble into genius.

2.  Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

The whole film looks, feels, and sounds like a bunch of friends with a videocamera and Halloween Store makeup decided to shoot whatever the hell they felt like. The stilted dialogue, cheesy effects, and “plot” are entertaining enough. But when Jesus suddenly breaks into song for no discernible reason, with other characters chiming in and dancing behind him, it’s a sublime moment in what is essentially a home movie.

3.  The Forbidden Zone

An oddball movie pretty much from the opening credits, the moment you know it’s going to be an even wilder ride than you expected comes early when a character gets up to sing, and a mouth is suddenly superimposed over his own and lip-syncs to the lyrics. The reason behind this bizarre and somewhat unsettling visual effect is rather mundane, so it’s better to just ignore the trivia section of imdb, and roll with it (good advice for every movie on this list, actually).

4.  Southland Tales

Technically, this is not a B-movie. It has a Hollywood budget, relatively big-name actors scattered throughout, and a buzz-worthy director at the helm (Richard Kelly, he of Donnie Darko fame). However, the entire movie is nothing but a series of What The moments. There’s Justin Timberlake lip-syncing to a Killers song. There’s three alumni of Saturday Night Live playing neo-Marxists. There’s ultra-violence, Kevin Smith in old man makeup, a mega zeppelin, and just for good measure, Bai Ling. It’s a work of staggering ego and possibly the result of too many hallucinogenic drugs, but it’s all strangely compelling. I only understood about a third of it (did I really?), yet I was still moved by the ending. It’s a hard movie to recommend, yet it’s still stuck in my craw, a year after seeing it. Leave your expectations at the door, and buckle up and enjoy the ride.